Everest's Birth Story

A journey of surrendering the birth I wanted for the birth I needed.

Homebirth turned c-section

“I believe that this is more than biological. It is spiritual. To give birth, whether at home in a birth tub with candles and family or in a surgical suite with machines and a neonatal team, a woman must go to the place between this world and the next, to that thin membrane between here and there. To the place where life comes from, to the mystery, in order to reach over to bring forth the child that is hers. The heroic tales of Odysseus are with us, each ordinary day. This round woman is not going into battle, but she is going to the edge of her being where every resource she has will be called on to assist in this journey.”-Jana Studelska 

I read and watched hundreds of birth stories while I was pregnant. I’m fascinated by physiological birth and my Virgo rising needed all the input/examples in order to feel confidence and trust the birth process. So, I’m sharing my story in hopes that it can bring insight or peace to another mom.

Birth is unpredictable. I heard this plenty of times, but never could have anticipated how our birth story ended up. Our intention was to have an at home, unmedicated, water hypnobirth with no interventions and, spoiler alert, I ended up at the hospital with a c-section.

I had been intrigued by home birth for years and stumbled upon the “Business of Being Born” documentary right before getting pregnant. As I did more research and learned about birth/ avoiding medical interventions, home birth felt like the best choice for us. I believe wholeheartedly in the physiology of birth and trusted that my body knew what to do and my baby knew how to be born.

Pat needed a little bit more convincing, but eventually he got on board and we began interviewing midwives. When we met with Kayti at Birth Local Midwifery, we knew she was the one. She immediately made me feel so empowered and confident in my body and excited about the experience. 

From there, we did everything to prepare - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We took a hypnobabies course to train my subconscious for an easier, more comfortable birthing experience. We found an amazing doula to support us. And then it was like training for a marathon: Keeping up with walking every day and my nutrition, chiropractic appointments, spinning babies exercises to make sure baby was in perfect position, listening to hypnobabies tracks, journaling to release fears, reading and watching countless birth stories, practicing meditation and positive birth affirmations daily. I have never in my life put so much into something.

Overall, I had an amazing pregnancy. I was healthy, happy, calm, well researched and informed. I knew that first time babies usually come at 41.5 weeks, but since I was born at 37 weeks and my sister’s first baby was born at 37 weeks, we prepared for an early baby just in case. Midwives can only legally attend home births between 37-42 weeks in CA so I was nervous of the baby coming too early. The backup plan was to go to a local hospital that my insurance covers, but we hadn’t met with any potential OBs or done any hospital tours. Our eye was on the prize. I set up a birthing sanctuary in our bedroom, affirmations on the mirror, the birth tub ready to inflate. I was keeping up with eating dates every day and drinking red raspberry leaf tea, spinning babies, lots of walks.

We were all a little surprised when 41 weeks rolled around and still no signs of baby. I had been having practice contractions every day for months and they were getting more intense at night, but they would go away when I went to sleep. I incorporated acupuncture and went to a chiropractor that specializes in Webster’s technique for pregnancy (Origin Chiropractic) I spent hours doing the Miles Circuit to get baby lined up in the left occiput anterior position and encourage pressure on my cervix. At our midwife appt on 41+3, I was 0cm dilated and 30% effaced and my cervix was very posterior.

Induction was out of the question for me until this point. I didn’t want to mess with fate. The birthday and time affects everything in terms of astrology and human design and I wanted our baby to choose for themselves. But we had 4 days left or we’d have to give up our home birth dream. We considered a membrane sweep, but it wasn’t even an option at 0cm.

The next morning at 41+4, I drank castor oil, took herbs and homeopathic remedies to help induce. The castor oil cleans out your digestive system and aggravates the intestines which can induce labor. I was definitely “cleaned out”, but only having mild contractions. Our midwife came over and we talked about next steps. The next morning I would continue with herbs and breast pump and we would try another sweep in the afternoon. I had a few intense contractions that night and got excited, hoping I would go to sleep and wake up in labor, but that didn’t happen…

The next day on 41+5 we learned that I made a little progress: 90% effaced! But my cervix was still closed and posterior, making it difficult to sweep. We attempted the balloon in the cervix, but couldn’t reach to insert. In the process, I had some bloody show so we figured we had a partial sweep. I was starting to feel desperate and emotional. We went home and I took more castor oil, more herbs, more homeopathic remedies, more walking. We had eggplant Parmesan for dinner because there’s an old wives tale that it induced labor and I swear I had my first real contraction after my first bite. I continued with herbs and pumping before getting to sleep around 11pm.

At midnight 41+6, I woke up to intense cramping and my body shaking/ teeth chattering. I had read that labor hormones can cause your body to shake so I was excited. This is for sure it! I knew that the best thing to do was rest/ sleep, but the contractions were too intense to lay down. I turned on my hypnobabies tracks and let my body sway with each surge. I was most comfortable on my knees leaning over the birth ball. The contractions quickly progressed and got more intense. They were 6 minutes apart at 5am when our doula arrived. I was feeling the contractions mostly in my lower back/tailbone and the intensity was getting to be too much. I knew contractions would be more intense with the castor oil and herbs, but had nothing to compare it to. Pat and our doula helped by applying counter pressure to my lower back, use a heating pad, and massaging through each surge.

I continue to labor until noon and was fully in the vortex by this point, but my contractions weren’t necessarily getting more intense. My midwife suggested that I try to rest since I didn’t sleep the previous night so I lay down with my right leg propped up and try to take a nap. I nap in 3 minute intervals between each surge for a couple hours, continuing to listen to my hypnobabies tracks and my birth playlist. The moments I wasn’t deep in hypnosis, I was praying to God, my ancestors, my guardian angels to give me strength and energy to get me through this and talking to my baby; letting them know that it was safe to come now.

At around 4pm I took a long warm shower to help me relax and by the time I got out, my contractions had slowed down. My midwife said this is common in labor and that usually when it’s night time and oxytocin rises, labor will ramp back up. Pat, Ham, and I cuddled in bed until our midwife came back over that night. I was 4cm dilated 90% effaced and my cervix was completely anterior. Baby was in a great position and head was engaged. We did a membrane sweep to encourage active labor. I tried to fall asleep, but was still having contractions every 10 minutes or so and was not able to fully relax.

42 weeks: Midnight I’m jolted awake by the most powerful contraction yet and bloody show.

I turn on my hypnosis tracks and get back in the zone, birthing by myself for as long as I can so Pat can rest. By 3am The pressure was so intense and I needed counter pressure on my back so I woke him up. Contractions were a 9/10 in intensity and progressing quickly so we called our midwife and doula to come back over. They arrived by 5am and Pat set up the birth tub. My midwife guided me through each contraction, coaching my breathing and positions and after an hour or so told me what I was waiting forever to hear: it was time to get in the tub!

The warm water immediately gave me relief, but the contractions stayed close together. I labored in the tub for about an hour before our midwife started to prepare everything needed for when baby gets here soon. I cried in joy and relief and pain and excitement. We were about to meet our baby and they will be born in our peaceful, quiet, intimate bedroom. I will be the first face they see, first voice they hear, first touch on their body.

At around noon I started to feel extreme pressure on my tailbone, a sign that the baby’s head is engaged and low in the pelvis. My midwife checks me to confirm and asks if I want to know how dilated I am. This can sometimes be discouraging if you aren’t as progressed as you anticipated. 

I wanted to know so I can make the best decision since I know we are on a time crunch and turns out I am still only at 4cms. Meaning all the intense contractions my body has been going through has not made any progress since last night. She suspects the baby’s head is tilted on the cervix, so it’s not putting pressure where it needs to in order to dilate. We do some side laying release and other spinning babies positions during contractions that are super intense (10/10), but I’m trying to surrender, willing to do anything to bring my baby here.

I had been in labor for almost 40 hours, with no real sleep and only able to eat honey sticks, apple sauce, and coconut water. We tried to get some rest but my contractions were too intense. After a shower they started to get less intense and slow down again.

By 4pm, I still had not made progress and was starting to lose hope. If we don’t have the baby by midnight, we will have to transfer to a hospital. I was still having contractions every 5 minutes, but didn’t feel like we were getting anywhere. We weighed our options and made an informed decision to switch gears and go to a hospital. The closest available bed was 40 minutes away. I didn’t have the time or energy to be sad that my home birth was not going to happen. I was focused on doing whatever it takes to bring my baby here safe.

The drive to the hospital was probably the most traumatic part for Pat. I was having contractions every 5 minutes, using a foam ball to push against my tailbone for counter pressure and moaning like a wild animal.

By 7pm we get to the hospital and check in. The nurse doing my paperwork notes that I was there for “home birth failure”. The plan is to give me an epidural and use the peanut ball so I can rest and see how my body responds. By 2am, I had only progressed 1 cm so they start me on Pitocin. A little after 4am, the nurse rushes in with a few others. My placenta is losing oxygen and baby’s heart rate is decelerating as a result. They stop the Pitocin, give me a shot to slow the contractions, and put me on oxygen so the baby has a reserve.

Baby’s heart rate is only stable when I’m laying on my left side so that’s the position I stayed in. The epidural was draining from my right side so I was feeling full contractions on half of my body. Around 5am, they start the pitocin again to see how baby tolerates.

At 730am, the nurse checks me. I am dilated to a 6 and she accidentally breaks my water. There are signs of Meconium, which the staff took as a sign that baby is under stress. I know we have to get baby out within 24 hours. They do an internal monitoring in order to better assess the strength of my contractions. I am hoping that my water breaking will move things along.

My sister Aly comes to the hospital around noon and seeing her is the best feeling ever. One of those moments where you just need your big sister.

The Ultimate Surrender

A couple hours later, I am still dilated to a 6. I have been in labor for around 70 hours by now and there are no signs of progress. Baby’s head is tilted in an awkward position and not creating enough pressure on my cervix to dilate me further. Pat and I make the informed and empowered decision to have a c section before we end up in an emergency situation.

Within the next hour and a half, I was prepped for surgery in the operating room. I was strapped to the table and my body from chest down was completely numb. My arms were shaking and teeth chattering like crazy from the drugs. The ceiling had clouds painted on it so I was trying to focus on that and my breathing. My anxiety was kicking in, but before I knew it Pat was next to me holding my hand. We asked for a gentle cesarean, for the curtain to be lowered so I can see baby being born, for skin to skin contact asap, and to listen to our birth playlist.

After about 5 minutes, while “The Blessing” by Kari Jobe was playing, our baby was born into the world. Pat watched the entire surgery and joyfully exclaimed “It’s a boy!” as he was pulled from my belly. Everest was so alert and smiled right away, and then let out the most beautiful cry. HE was here. And in that moment, I knew that I had done everything that I could to bring him here.

My ultimate goal was to have a peaceful, empowered transition for baby from womb to earth and we used every tool in our toolbox to make that happen. I had to surrender my ideal birth in order to make the best choice for my son. There’s no doubt I have more healing to do around this and mourning of our dream home birth. What I know for sure is that everything happens for a reason and the way this unfolded was meant to be for my soul’s highest purpose, and for Everest’s too. Every birth is beautiful and mothers are true warriors.